Mitt's desperate Friday news dump

Like me now?

In the near future, I think we might be able look back to say that this was the week the Mitt Romney campaign entered its death throes. I suppose some miracle cure is still possible, but given that his vice presidential pick is getting pelted by boos from seniors and he himself was caught on tape calling half the nation shiftless moochers, sending things so off the rails that Mitt now wants to talk about his tax returns, of all things, you know the Romney camp is in quite a panic. That's a hell of a Friday news dump.
Mind you, he's still not releasing those tax returns. He's released the much-promised 2011 version, finally, but the rest of it is not really tax returns, but an artist's interpretation of what his tax returns would look like, if he did release him. A very polite and notarized letter from his mother doctor accountant saying please excuse Mitt Romney from releasing his tax returns as other presidential candidates have. I sincerely promise everything is on the up-and-up in there and there is no reason to look any further; signed, some guys paid by Mitt Romney to say this.
Well that should do the trick, no? What sort of monster would not be satisfied by that? I'm sure Mitt Romney himself was quite satisfied with a mere doctor's note from Paul Ryan saying things were on the up-and-up, back when he picked him for the vice presidential slot, so—what's that? He wasn't? Ah. I guess Mitt's just not as trusting a soul as he thinks the rest of us are.
So there we are. The newest version of the tell us how you made your damn money already, you rich condescending bastard is still that we should just trust Mitt on this one, but this time it comes with a notarized note saying so. Somehow I think Mitt Romney is going to be very, very surprised at the reaction this little stunt gets.
Ah well. I know that at least in my own times of trouble, when people are badgering me for my tax returns in order to prove to themselves that I am not some sort of obscene Wall Street crook making off with other people's money by burning their companies down and picking through the ashes for loose change (note: this has not actually happened, so far) I think back to the wisdom of that great Republican philosopher, Mitt Romney's dad.

"Release of the document, while it might serve a political purpose, would not prove very much, [George] argued. One year could be a fluke, perhaps done for show, and what mattered in personal finance was how a man conducted himself over the long haul."

Of course, that guy was on welfare once, and Mitt doesn't give a damn what people like that think.